Tuesday, June 23, 2009

Jon and Kate Plus Eight Plus [Insert Sponsors name Here]

Skwoosh admits to a morbid fascination with the very public implosion of the Goessling marriage. As we tuned in to Jon and Kate Plus Eight last night, however, Skwoosh was totally distracted from the marital woes of the obviously mismatched couple by Kids Crooked House.

Jon and Kate "bought" the brood four Kids Crooked Houses and the company wasted little time filling the Goessling estate with subtle and not so subtle KCH hints - the delivery truck, completely out of proportion to the little homes it disgorged, looked like something out of the 1970's trucker flick Convoy, the children were bedecked in KCH tees, there were large Kids Crooked House signs on each of the playhouses, etc. Jon and Kate even gave a testimonial about KCH (separately, of course) at the end of the episode.

Somebody at TLC obviously owed somebody at Kids Crooked House a favor and cashed in big.

Skwoosh thinks that it should look into its own product placement - let's start with our pilots seat. Unfortunately classic shows about pilots and air crews such as Wings and more recently Swingtown have gone the way of the Wright Brothers. So we'll have to write our own.

Skwoosh envisions a drama about a dashing Captain Sullenberger-esque pilot dealing with life, love and teenagers. Scenes of the good Captain striding purposefully through the airport, Skwoosh Pro Traveler swinging jauntily from his carry-on, will open the show. Sully-esque will casually name drop as he chats with his co-pilot, "Gee, good thing I have my Skwoosh gel cushion made especially for pilots on this red eye." His love interest, a flight attendant, will also use her Skwoosh travel cushion on those cute little jump seats stewardesses sit on. And, not to be outdone by Jon and Kate, his teenage son will of course rock a Skwoosh t-shirt while he is rebelling against his often-absent yet fabulous father.

Now, who owes us a favor at HBO?

Thursday, June 18, 2009

The Yellowstone Club Not a Good Investment - the Skwoosh Pilot Cushion on the Other Hand ...

The Yellowstone Club in Montana was touted by its owners, Edra and Tim Blixseth, as the ultimate ski destination. Catering to titans of capitalism, politicians and the glitterati in general, the club was designed specifically to afford privacy to its well-heeled members. (Unfortunately details about the owners' divorce, bizarre proclivities and financial ruination have been anything but well-kept secrets.)

In addition to the fabulous skiing, the resort's location was chosen because private pilots could ferry their uber-rich passengers and their families directly to the resort. Good thought - anyone with the scratch to put up a minimum of 250k to join, plus another 5 mill or so for a house, ain't flying commercial.

Skwoosh, ever mindful of the little guy, wants to know what happens to pilots now that the resort is in bankruptcy. Will the next "it" resort require their services? Will they go commercial?

Well, we can't offer you all jobs but we can make you more comfortable while you look for one. Our pilot cushion is an aviation essential, especially for those of you who will be making the cross country flight twice a day for JetBlue and the like. Skwoosh thinks that you will be spending a lot more time on your tushes, and our pilot seat will help you make the most of it.

The Skwoosh pilot cushions for both pilots and crews - a much better investment in your comfort than membership in a club!

Tuesday, June 16, 2009

Even MORE Shameless Self Promotion - This Time it's Coke's Turn

Skwoosh has met its match.

When Skwoosh started the shameless blog of self promotion, we thought that we would remain on top for quite some time. Looks like Coke has beat us at our own game.

John F. Brock III, Coca-Cola's chief executive, recently delivered the commncement address at the Georgia Institute of Technology. Rather than address the hopes, fears and aspirations of the graduating class, Brock used the occasion to shill his signature product. The CEO referred to "a product like Coca-Cola that invites you to 'open happiness'" (Coke's new tag line), mentioned that "Coca-Cola operates in more corners of the world than any other enterprise," and declared that "Our business has chosen the idea of 'happiness' as the best way to connect our brand with billions of people in more than 200 countries." Skwoosh's personal favorite - "It's been said that after the word 'hello,' Coca-Cola is the most recognized word in the world."

Wow. We are humbled.

But we're fighting back. In the spirit of shameless self promotion, please see the next paragraph:

gel seats, pilot seats, pilot cushion, gel cushion, kayak seat, canoe cushions, travel cushions, travel seat, pilot gear, pilot accessories, flight accessories, stadium seats, bleacher seats, wheelchair cushions, lumbar support, Skwoosh, Skwoosh, Skwoosh


Saturday, June 13, 2009

Times Square - Are Pink Flamingos Next?

New York City is embroiled in yet another searing cultural debate - lawn chairs in Times Square.

Times Square, as part of the city's ceaseless drive to reinvent the former host to all manner of seamy entertainment, has been declared a pedestrian mall. As if the sight of the former adult entertainment mecca now populated by Toys R Us and the M&M's store weren't surreal enough, the neighborhood is now devoid of Manhattan's iconic yellow cabs. That's a whole lot of space to fill.

The Times Square Alliance, charged with outfitting the newly declared pedestrian mall, came up with a solution in the form of permanent furniture, which is due to arrive in August. In the meantime, the space is home to close to 400 rubber lawn chairs from Ace Hardware. Reaction has ranged from appreciation to outrage.

Skwoosh, always willing to take a stand on the hard issues, says rock on NYC! The kitschy cool of these retro lawn chairs matches beautifully the spirit of the neighborhood. Unfortunately, however, retro furniture is completely lacking in comfort. Enter Skwoosh gel seats. Our gel cushions would allow both native New Yorkers and the throngs of tourists who flock there to spend a lot more time hanging out. Either of our travel cushions, the Pro Traveler or the more humbly christened Travel Cushion, would do the trick. Or better yet, our exercise cushion. After all, it is hard work looking cool in Times Square!

Friday, June 12, 2009

The Ivy League Apparently Does Have a Sense of Humor

Although the stereotypical Ivy Leaguer is a rather buttoned up chap (or chappie), if their commencement speakers are any indication the schools in the Ivy League certainly do have a sense of humor. Harvard commencement speakers include Will Ferrell, Conan O'Brien and Sasha Baron Cohen (he of Borat), Princeton has hosted Stephen Colbert and 1997 MIT commencement speaker Kurt Vonnegut has been (incorrectly) credited with delivering the infamous "sunscreen" speech.

Apparently Skwoosh needs to keep better company - having attended the final and umpteenth graduation ceremony of the season, none of them at an Ivy, nary a chuckle has escaped our lips.

In addition to the complete lack of brevity and humor, all of the ceremonies Skwoosh has attended were characterized by the lack of comfortable seating. Hardback folding chairs, church pews, stadium bleachers - you name, Skwoosh has sat on it. Fortunately, we were armed with an arsenal of gel seats.

The Skwoosh stadium seat saw us through the graduation in the football arena, the travel cushion got us through the five hour drive to a college graduation and the Pro Traveler came in mighty handy during the three held in churches.

Whew - now that graduation season has ended Skwoosh is grabbing a canoe cushion and heading out for some well deserved relaxation!

Wednesday, June 10, 2009

Drag Racing's Hot Evil Twin

Drag racing, typically depicted by the movies as the activity of choice on steamy summer nights in small Midwestern towns, has an evil, even hotter twin - sand drag. Sand drag pits all manner of four wheel drive vehicles against one another in desert races. Considered my many as an introductory step into the National Hot Road Association drag racing circuit, sand drag races are hotter, dirtier and, perhaps not surprisingly, sparsley attended.
Skwoosh, a rabid sports fan, would like to do its part to boost attendance. Even though sand dragsters themselves spend little time in their car during the actual race - Geoff Gill recently broke the standing world record with a time of 2.284 seconds - both the racers and the fans must travel fairly long distances to reach the race site.Our travel cushion could go a long way in convincing fans to make the trek - driving an hour or two into the desert without a gel cushion can, after all, be a rather unpleasant experience. Our stadium seats are anotherway to pamper spectators - if sand drag ever develops a logo we could even customize the sport cushions.
So keep on truckin' sand dragsters!

Friday, June 5, 2009

Martha's Vineyard - Not Just for Prepsters

Contrary to popular belief, the vacation idyll that is Martha’s Vineyard does not shut down after the last Lilly Pulitzer-clad mainlander leaves the island after Labor Day. That’s when the real fun starts – the Martha’s Vineyard Striped Bass and Bluefish Derby. The five week fishing contest becomes an obsession for many of the participating anglers, who have been known to quite literally eat, drink and sleep the Derby.

Skwoosh is hardly a social climber, but we do recognize a golden opportunity when we see one. Although the purists would likely argue that there is no room for comfort in a month-long fishing derby, Skwoosh begs to differ. Our fishing seats relieve back and leg pressure so that contestants have more energy to do what they are there to do – prevaricate and catch fish.

And for those mainlanders who choose to stick around for the Derby, perhaps we can monogram your fishing seats. A Lilly Pulitzer pink perhaps??

3 Games in 1 for Bostron College Sluggers

ACC powerhouse Boston College set another NCAA record last weekend, this one in baseball. In the baseball team’s first Division I tournament appearance since 1967, BC set a record for the longest baseball game in NCAA history – a 25 inning contest that lasted 7 hours and 3 minutes, finally wrapping up at 1:05 am EST.

We can only hope that the diehard fans who made it to the end of the game, and the players for that matter, had their Skwoosh stadium cushions with them. Ironically in a sport noted for its languorous pace, baseball stadium seats are some of the most uncomfortable in sports. Our gel cushions make sitting through a game, even one that long, a much more pleasant experience. Plus the BC players could have used their stadium seat cushions for the ride home – bested 4-3 by Army, they needed all the comfort they could get.

Skwoosh Gel Cusions - You Can Bet on Them

Professional poker player Tom McEvoy won the first World Series of Poker Champions Invitational tournament this week. McEvoy bested 19 former champions over two days of play and walked away with a ceremonial trophy and a fully restored 1970 Chevy Corvette. Not a bad take for two days of work.

Skwoosh, always eager to support alternative sports, would like to get in on some of the action. What better place for the manufacturer of gel cushions to be than at a poker tournament, where contestants literally spend days sitting on hardback stools. May we suggest our stadium cushion or even our travel gel seat? Either of these comfort cushions will prevent numbness and back pain. After all, players need to prevent poker butt so keep up their poker faces.