Tuesday, June 23, 2009

Jon and Kate Plus Eight Plus [Insert Sponsors name Here]

Skwoosh admits to a morbid fascination with the very public implosion of the Goessling marriage. As we tuned in to Jon and Kate Plus Eight last night, however, Skwoosh was totally distracted from the marital woes of the obviously mismatched couple by Kids Crooked House.

Jon and Kate "bought" the brood four Kids Crooked Houses and the company wasted little time filling the Goessling estate with subtle and not so subtle KCH hints - the delivery truck, completely out of proportion to the little homes it disgorged, looked like something out of the 1970's trucker flick Convoy, the children were bedecked in KCH tees, there were large Kids Crooked House signs on each of the playhouses, etc. Jon and Kate even gave a testimonial about KCH (separately, of course) at the end of the episode.

Somebody at TLC obviously owed somebody at Kids Crooked House a favor and cashed in big.

Skwoosh thinks that it should look into its own product placement - let's start with our pilots seat. Unfortunately classic shows about pilots and air crews such as Wings and more recently Swingtown have gone the way of the Wright Brothers. So we'll have to write our own.

Skwoosh envisions a drama about a dashing Captain Sullenberger-esque pilot dealing with life, love and teenagers. Scenes of the good Captain striding purposefully through the airport, Skwoosh Pro Traveler swinging jauntily from his carry-on, will open the show. Sully-esque will casually name drop as he chats with his co-pilot, "Gee, good thing I have my Skwoosh gel cushion made especially for pilots on this red eye." His love interest, a flight attendant, will also use her Skwoosh travel cushion on those cute little jump seats stewardesses sit on. And, not to be outdone by Jon and Kate, his teenage son will of course rock a Skwoosh t-shirt while he is rebelling against his often-absent yet fabulous father.

Now, who owes us a favor at HBO?

Thursday, June 18, 2009

The Yellowstone Club Not a Good Investment - the Skwoosh Pilot Cushion on the Other Hand ...

The Yellowstone Club in Montana was touted by its owners, Edra and Tim Blixseth, as the ultimate ski destination. Catering to titans of capitalism, politicians and the glitterati in general, the club was designed specifically to afford privacy to its well-heeled members. (Unfortunately details about the owners' divorce, bizarre proclivities and financial ruination have been anything but well-kept secrets.)

In addition to the fabulous skiing, the resort's location was chosen because private pilots could ferry their uber-rich passengers and their families directly to the resort. Good thought - anyone with the scratch to put up a minimum of 250k to join, plus another 5 mill or so for a house, ain't flying commercial.

Skwoosh, ever mindful of the little guy, wants to know what happens to pilots now that the resort is in bankruptcy. Will the next "it" resort require their services? Will they go commercial?

Well, we can't offer you all jobs but we can make you more comfortable while you look for one. Our pilot cushion is an aviation essential, especially for those of you who will be making the cross country flight twice a day for JetBlue and the like. Skwoosh thinks that you will be spending a lot more time on your tushes, and our pilot seat will help you make the most of it.

The Skwoosh pilot cushions for both pilots and crews - a much better investment in your comfort than membership in a club!

Tuesday, June 16, 2009

Even MORE Shameless Self Promotion - This Time it's Coke's Turn

Skwoosh has met its match.

When Skwoosh started the shameless blog of self promotion, we thought that we would remain on top for quite some time. Looks like Coke has beat us at our own game.

John F. Brock III, Coca-Cola's chief executive, recently delivered the commncement address at the Georgia Institute of Technology. Rather than address the hopes, fears and aspirations of the graduating class, Brock used the occasion to shill his signature product. The CEO referred to "a product like Coca-Cola that invites you to 'open happiness'" (Coke's new tag line), mentioned that "Coca-Cola operates in more corners of the world than any other enterprise," and declared that "Our business has chosen the idea of 'happiness' as the best way to connect our brand with billions of people in more than 200 countries." Skwoosh's personal favorite - "It's been said that after the word 'hello,' Coca-Cola is the most recognized word in the world."

Wow. We are humbled.

But we're fighting back. In the spirit of shameless self promotion, please see the next paragraph:

gel seats, pilot seats, pilot cushion, gel cushion, kayak seat, canoe cushions, travel cushions, travel seat, pilot gear, pilot accessories, flight accessories, stadium seats, bleacher seats, wheelchair cushions, lumbar support, Skwoosh, Skwoosh, Skwoosh


Saturday, June 13, 2009

Times Square - Are Pink Flamingos Next?

New York City is embroiled in yet another searing cultural debate - lawn chairs in Times Square.

Times Square, as part of the city's ceaseless drive to reinvent the former host to all manner of seamy entertainment, has been declared a pedestrian mall. As if the sight of the former adult entertainment mecca now populated by Toys R Us and the M&M's store weren't surreal enough, the neighborhood is now devoid of Manhattan's iconic yellow cabs. That's a whole lot of space to fill.

The Times Square Alliance, charged with outfitting the newly declared pedestrian mall, came up with a solution in the form of permanent furniture, which is due to arrive in August. In the meantime, the space is home to close to 400 rubber lawn chairs from Ace Hardware. Reaction has ranged from appreciation to outrage.

Skwoosh, always willing to take a stand on the hard issues, says rock on NYC! The kitschy cool of these retro lawn chairs matches beautifully the spirit of the neighborhood. Unfortunately, however, retro furniture is completely lacking in comfort. Enter Skwoosh gel seats. Our gel cushions would allow both native New Yorkers and the throngs of tourists who flock there to spend a lot more time hanging out. Either of our travel cushions, the Pro Traveler or the more humbly christened Travel Cushion, would do the trick. Or better yet, our exercise cushion. After all, it is hard work looking cool in Times Square!

Friday, June 12, 2009

The Ivy League Apparently Does Have a Sense of Humor

Although the stereotypical Ivy Leaguer is a rather buttoned up chap (or chappie), if their commencement speakers are any indication the schools in the Ivy League certainly do have a sense of humor. Harvard commencement speakers include Will Ferrell, Conan O'Brien and Sasha Baron Cohen (he of Borat), Princeton has hosted Stephen Colbert and 1997 MIT commencement speaker Kurt Vonnegut has been (incorrectly) credited with delivering the infamous "sunscreen" speech.

Apparently Skwoosh needs to keep better company - having attended the final and umpteenth graduation ceremony of the season, none of them at an Ivy, nary a chuckle has escaped our lips.

In addition to the complete lack of brevity and humor, all of the ceremonies Skwoosh has attended were characterized by the lack of comfortable seating. Hardback folding chairs, church pews, stadium bleachers - you name, Skwoosh has sat on it. Fortunately, we were armed with an arsenal of gel seats.

The Skwoosh stadium seat saw us through the graduation in the football arena, the travel cushion got us through the five hour drive to a college graduation and the Pro Traveler came in mighty handy during the three held in churches.

Whew - now that graduation season has ended Skwoosh is grabbing a canoe cushion and heading out for some well deserved relaxation!

Wednesday, June 10, 2009

Drag Racing's Hot Evil Twin

Drag racing, typically depicted by the movies as the activity of choice on steamy summer nights in small Midwestern towns, has an evil, even hotter twin - sand drag. Sand drag pits all manner of four wheel drive vehicles against one another in desert races. Considered my many as an introductory step into the National Hot Road Association drag racing circuit, sand drag races are hotter, dirtier and, perhaps not surprisingly, sparsley attended.
Skwoosh, a rabid sports fan, would like to do its part to boost attendance. Even though sand dragsters themselves spend little time in their car during the actual race - Geoff Gill recently broke the standing world record with a time of 2.284 seconds - both the racers and the fans must travel fairly long distances to reach the race site.Our travel cushion could go a long way in convincing fans to make the trek - driving an hour or two into the desert without a gel cushion can, after all, be a rather unpleasant experience. Our stadium seats are anotherway to pamper spectators - if sand drag ever develops a logo we could even customize the sport cushions.
So keep on truckin' sand dragsters!

Friday, June 5, 2009

Martha's Vineyard - Not Just for Prepsters

Contrary to popular belief, the vacation idyll that is Martha’s Vineyard does not shut down after the last Lilly Pulitzer-clad mainlander leaves the island after Labor Day. That’s when the real fun starts – the Martha’s Vineyard Striped Bass and Bluefish Derby. The five week fishing contest becomes an obsession for many of the participating anglers, who have been known to quite literally eat, drink and sleep the Derby.

Skwoosh is hardly a social climber, but we do recognize a golden opportunity when we see one. Although the purists would likely argue that there is no room for comfort in a month-long fishing derby, Skwoosh begs to differ. Our fishing seats relieve back and leg pressure so that contestants have more energy to do what they are there to do – prevaricate and catch fish.

And for those mainlanders who choose to stick around for the Derby, perhaps we can monogram your fishing seats. A Lilly Pulitzer pink perhaps??

3 Games in 1 for Bostron College Sluggers

ACC powerhouse Boston College set another NCAA record last weekend, this one in baseball. In the baseball team’s first Division I tournament appearance since 1967, BC set a record for the longest baseball game in NCAA history – a 25 inning contest that lasted 7 hours and 3 minutes, finally wrapping up at 1:05 am EST.

We can only hope that the diehard fans who made it to the end of the game, and the players for that matter, had their Skwoosh stadium cushions with them. Ironically in a sport noted for its languorous pace, baseball stadium seats are some of the most uncomfortable in sports. Our gel cushions make sitting through a game, even one that long, a much more pleasant experience. Plus the BC players could have used their stadium seat cushions for the ride home – bested 4-3 by Army, they needed all the comfort they could get.

Skwoosh Gel Cusions - You Can Bet on Them

Professional poker player Tom McEvoy won the first World Series of Poker Champions Invitational tournament this week. McEvoy bested 19 former champions over two days of play and walked away with a ceremonial trophy and a fully restored 1970 Chevy Corvette. Not a bad take for two days of work.

Skwoosh, always eager to support alternative sports, would like to get in on some of the action. What better place for the manufacturer of gel cushions to be than at a poker tournament, where contestants literally spend days sitting on hardback stools. May we suggest our stadium cushion or even our travel gel seat? Either of these comfort cushions will prevent numbness and back pain. After all, players need to prevent poker butt so keep up their poker faces.

Sunday, May 31, 2009

Canoe Racing as Extreme Sport

Those of you who consider canoeing a sport for blissed out, eco-sensitive non-athletes should check out the Texas Water Safari, a 260 mile race that meanders through some of the roughest rivers and bays in the sun-baked state. Billed as “World’s Toughest Canoe Race,” splash holes, snakes and even the occasional hallucination are hallmarks of the event. At stake are simply the coveted Texas Water Safari patch and the bragging rights that go along with it.

Skwoosh wishes not to challenge the macho nature of this aqua marathon, but the question begs itself – would it really be so bad for the racers to avail themselves of a little comfort? Our water sport cushions were designed to make any boat trip, even ones as arduous and lengthy as the Texas Water Safari, gel cushion comfortable. However we wouldn’t want to open a can of worms with our canoe cushions – they could be considered performance enhancing!

Time for Stand-up Comedian Jay Leno to Sit - with Skwoosh

Stand-up comedian Jay Leno recently retired as host of the Tonight Show, which he has officially hosted since 1992 but had been a regular substitute host since 1987. Over those years Leno has hosted luminaries from a post-Divine Brown scandal Hugh Grant to US President Barack Obama, all from behind the iconic desk formerly manned by his predecessor Johnny Carson. That’s a lot of sitting Mr. Leno!

Skwoosh, always concerned for the well-being of American icons, would like to support Leno in his semi-retirement. After years of sitting behind Carson’s desk, may we recommend some of our gel seats to ease the transition to your new desk on your prime time show? Our travel cushion, with its low profile and easy storage, would be ideal for your new desk. The travel gel seat will also perform double duty for you. Known for your penchant for classic automobiles, we suggest using the Skwoosh travel cushion when you take the Studebaker for a spin.

Tuesday, May 26, 2009

Yoga from Mysore - Oh the Irony!

It is with much sadness that we announce the passing of Krishna Pattabhi Jois, yoga guru to the stars, at the age of 93. Much sought after by celebrities as diverse as Sting and Gwyneth Paltrow, Jois was considered the founder of Ashtanga yoga, an athletic and sweat-inducing form of the art.

That Mr. Jois became a yoga instructor at all is credited to happenstance. However Skwoosh, always alert to nuance, has to believe that karma had a lot to do with it. Jois, having connected with the city’s ruler, taught yoga at the Sanskrit University in Mysore. Jois settled in Mysore and that is where he died last week. Jois made Mysore the epicenter of Ashtung yoga.

Skwoosh appreciates the irony – we do have a sense of humor - as well as Jois’s accomplishment. After all, we are dedicated sports supporters who serve outdoor enthusiasts with our camping cushions and hunting seats as well as gym rats with our exercise cushion. Although our exercise seats may not be appropriate for yoga practitioners, who don’t spend that much time on their bums, they are perfect for those exercisers who walk by the yoga studio en route to their exercise bikes. Our gel seats for exercise bikes, like all Skwoosh performance cushions, are portable comfort. With all due respect to Jois - Mysore no more!

Sunday, May 24, 2009

Yankess vs Red Sox - Everybody Wins!

Like many other stadiums slated for demolition so that a new facility can be accommodated, New York’s Yankee Stadium is auctioning and selling all kinds of memorabilia to fans from across the country. Items include signs, brick, beer carts - even trash cans. Some of the more plentiful, and lucrative, items, however, are the stadium seats.

Yankee Stadium is selling their stadium seats for a minimum of $1,499 each. That is a rather eye popping sum when you consider the fact that they are not even branded with the team’s logo! Skwoosh, an unabashed Red Sox fan, would still like to see Yankees fans get more for their money, especially in this economy. Why not package a Yankee stadium seat with a Skwoosh stadium cushion with the team’s logo imprinted on it? That way fans can have a piece of the ballpark they loved as well as a way to show that it actually came from the aforementioned stadium. Who says that Yankee and Red Sox fans can’t work together?!

American Idol Gives the Symphony an Idea

Skwoosh, long a supporter of the fine arts, was mildly shocked to learn that certain symphonies and museums are integrating cell phones into their repertoire. The Indianapolis Symphony Orchestra, for example, asks the audience to text message their vote, American Idol-style, for the encore. An attempt to reach a more youthful audience, it also supports efforts aimed at increasing audience participation.

We’ll leave the question of whether Hayden, Mozart et al truly intended for the audience to have any type of say in the matter to another post. However if arts institutions would like to broaden their appeal, may we suggest starting with something a little more basic – the seating. It is almost as if concert halls take the whole “suffering for your art” adage literally. Why not use our stadium seat to make the entire experience a more comfortable one? Designed for sitting on bleacher seats, our stadium cushion can nonetheless be taken upscale and would appreciate a day at the opera or symphony. Our gel cushions can even be imprinted with the organization’s logo, a great way to appeal to today’s label-obsessed youth.

Passengers' Bill of Rights - Food, Water and the Loo

Commercial airline passengers may have something to look forward to as they book travel in the coming months. Congress is considering what amounts to a passengers’ bill of rights as part of the FAA appropriations bill currently working its way through the Senate. The bill would among other things require airlines to give food, water and access to a functioning bathroom to passengers stranded on grounded planes. Also under consideration is a three hour limit on the amount of time passengers must remain on a grounded plane before being offered the option to disembark. Not surprisingly, there is tremendous resistance on the part of the airline industry to this part of the bill.

Where does Skwoosh come down on this point? On one hand, the more time our customers spend on their posteriors the more need they have for our gel cushions. Should we back any effort designed to get people off their rear ends? In this case we must! Skwoosh is, after all, in the business of comfort. It is our mission to make any leg of your trip, be it on an airplane, car, bus or motorcycle, as comfortable as possible. In fact our travel cushion was specifically designed as a buffer between you and the notoriously uncomfortable seat cushions found on commercial airplanes. And just to prove that Skwoosh doesn’t take sides, remember that we make a pilot’s cushion for the men and women at the front of the plane as well.

Technology and the Great Outdoors

Technology has made inroads into virtually every aspect of modern life including leisure, with advances in video gaming, television and computers significantly altering the way we spend our free time. Now outdoor enthusiasts can get a piece of the pie with a handheld digital field guide currently in development by the National Science Foundation.

In essence a database of leaf images, this high-tech twist on the traditional dog-eared and well-thumbed field guide allows leaf-peeping neophytes to accurately categorize their findings.

Purists may argue that a digital field guide is in fact cheating and no substitute for field experience, but Skwoosh is in the business of making people more comfortable in the great outdoors. After all, we developed both the Sportman and Camping and Hiking cushions to cater to the more adventurous of our fans. Our Sportsman hunters’ gel seat relieves the numbness that comes with sitting still for long periods of time. We also offer shooters’ pads – pressure relieving cushions that can be used as knee pads or elbow pads. Likewise, our camping and hiking cushions offer comfort, portability and pressure relief.

A digital field guide and Skwoosh outdoor cushions – essentials for outdoor enthusiasts brought to you by technology.

It's National Train Day

May 9th is the anniversary of a number of historic events, including President Woodrow Wilson’s 1914 proclamation commemorating Mother’s Day and the first flight over the North Pole in 1926. Amtrak, a company truly with its finger on the nation’s pulse, has chosen this auspicious date to celebrate their second annual National Train Day to memorialize the establishment of the first cross-country railroad.

A fitting tribute indeed when one considers that the comfort afforded by rail travel has in fact changed significantly since its inception. The china and silverware of yore having been replaced by microwaves and canned beer in the “dining car,” rail passengers today are subjected to conditions the glitterati of the day would scoff at.

Enter the Skwoosh travel cushion. Our gel seat not only relieves the pressure and numbness in the legs that plague the modern day rail passenger denied the comforts of the sleeping car, but can be folded up and stowed in a carry-on bag or briefcase.

Happy National Train Day America! At least you can celebrate in comfort.

Skwoosh is a Hockey Fan

With all our talk this week about culture and the arts, we wanted to let you know that Skwoosh can also talk sports.

Hockey goalies are a mythic lot. There is something quite out of the ordinary about someone who would willingly allow a buff, 250-pound man to shoot pucks directly at him. Of course goalie equipment today has changed significantly over the past 30 years. The increasing size of the pads, glove and mask not only offers greater protection but has actually changed the way the position is played, with goalies spending way more time on their knees than in the past.

Although Skwoosh does not make hockey pads, we can offer goalies some comfort after they leave the ice. All that time on their knees in an out of the butterfly position must wreak havoc with their backs. Enter our gel cushions. Our fitness cushion would be an apropos choice for these warrior-athletes. Although we wouldn’t recommend replacing the equipment pads with our exercise cushion, it would be a great addition to their fitness routine. Even better, our gel seat cushion will also do double duty as a travel pillow for those long plane rides to road games.

The Cinco de Mayo Custom Car Show and Fiesta

Happy Cinco de Mayo! The Cinco de Mayo holiday commemorates the 1862 defeat of Napolean III at the Battle of Puebla by a rag-tag and greatly out numbered Mexican army. Like St. Patrick’s Day, however, it is a bigger celebration in the United States than in its country of origin.

Topeka, Kansas, for example, is a hotbed of Cinco de Mayo activity. In addition to a fiesta-themed street party and dance, the Washburn University Hispanic American Leadership Organization sponsors a Cinco de Mayo Custom Car Show and Fiesta. Always one to support cultural events, Skwoosh would like to contribute. May we suggest our gel cushion car seats? Although designed for law enforcement officers, our patrol seat would be ideal for any driver who has to spend a significant amount of time in the car. With car enthusiasts from all over the country heading to Topeka, now is the time to spread the word – you CAN be comfortable on lengthy car rides with our gel cushions.

Classical Musicians - A Stand Up Group

The Australian Chamber Orchestra recently performed in New York City’s Zankel Hall. Although they garnered generally positive reviews, the concert was remarkable for the way in which it was presented. All of the musicians in the group, not just the cellists, performed standing up.

This intrepid blogger was unable to unearth any reason for performing in such a manner but of course this will not stop us from conjecturing. Our theory – musicians are given the worst seats in the house. They are forced to sit for long periods of time on hard folding chairs with no seat cushions! Back aches and numbness are part of their encore. Skwoosh, in a selfless effort to support the arts, would like to offer our assistance. Our line of gel cushions includes an exercise seat that would be ideal for musicians. Designed to relieve back aches and numbness, our exercise cushion allows musicians to focus on high art, not their lower backs.

MIT Rowers - Competitive Studying as Training

M.I.T. recently announced the dismantling of eight of its varsity sports, including competitive pistol, in response to the economic woes besetting the country. Fortunately the university’s historic and much-heralded crew team was not affected.

Why the Ivy League churns out such competitive crew teams is a matter of debate. There does not seem to be a connection between intellectualism and the sport, although the M.I.T. rowers arguably spend more time seated in the library than other college students. Perhaps it is this competitive sitting that prepares these athletes for spending hours upon hours in a shell.

We at Skwoosh have the perfect solution for Ivy League derrieres – our rowing cushion for the athletes and the stadium seat cushion for their fans. Even better, our personalized seat cushions can be emblazoned with the M.I.T. logo. School support and back support in a single cushion. Not bad for a non-Ivy Leaguer.

Volcano Boarding - Is it for ANYONE?

Nicaragua, long a go-to destination for adventure travelers and kayakers alike, is now the epicenter of the latest trend in adventure sports – volcano boarding. Volcano boarders seat themselves atop a tricked-out sheet of plywood and hurtle down the side of an active volcano.

Not being ones to turn our backs on potential customers, even those who have clearly lost their minds, we at Skwoosh asked ourselves how we could get ingratiate ourselves with the practitioners of this exciting new “sport.” Performance cushions for the volcano boards, of course! Although the volcano boarding purists out there will likely accuse the sport of selling out, those willing to quite literally risk life and limb in pursuit of their passion deserve to do so in comfort. We’ll be there on either end of the trip as well. Our travel cushions will make the lengthy plane ride to Nicaragua bearable and for those unfortunate few who do succumb to the power of the volcano, keep in mind that Skwoosh also makes wheelchair cushions.

Tuesday, May 19, 2009

Skwoosh for Cave Sitters

Although when booking accommodations most look for the most luxurious features in their price range, there are those who have a different idea of what constitutes luxury. Take for example patrons of the Gamirasu Cave Hotel in Turkey. Far more luxurious than one would assume a hotel built into a cave would be, guests are nonetheless staying in an actual rock shelter.
Although Skwoosh hasn’t developed a gel cushion specifically for cave sitters, our camping and hiking outdoor cushions would be ideal for these hotel adventurers. The camping cushion is so lightweight and portable that you can discreetly cushion your derriere while looking like you are partaking of the true “cave experience” by sitting directly on the floor of the cave. And don’t forget our Pro Traveler travel cushion – the flight to Turkey is a long one!